In our world today, delivery drivers are more well-known than our own neighbors. We love the convenience of having things delivered, but that is not the kind of delivery I am talking about.
I’ve shared with many audiences and in my writings how Louie behaves when anyone enters my home—he’s not very nice. In the almost 12 years I’ve had him, he has never experienced someone coming to the door and creating havoc of any kind. His protectiveness is overbearing and honestly unnerving, especially since I love to entertain.
Recently, I decided to have Louie settle in his crate downstairs in my family room while I entertained. Removing him from the situation seemed the best choice for him and for me. This worked great… until Louie figured out there were people in the house and started barking. But with enough music and chatter, he’s not too disruptive and doesn’t take long to settle down.
One group of guests had hoped to meet Louie. I kept him in his crate while we ate dinner, then brought him upstairs to meet my guests, out on the deck. When I opened Louie’s crate, he bolted up the stairs, panting for me to open the door to the first floor. I gave him the command to settle, but as soon as I opened the door, he flew past me, barking and scampering across my wood floor, barely getting any traction. He was ready to take them on.
This behavior gave me PAWS as I thought about how our delivery affects our message. We may have great advice or ideas to share, but if our delivery is gruff, abrupt, or even condescending, others will not hear the message, no matter how many times we share it. People will often say, “Oh, that’s just my delivery.” I guarantee that when those words are uttered, whatever message was shared was not heard.
The next time you have an important message to share with someone, be aware of your delivery!
Before opening your mouth, practice the PAWS method.
PAUSE: There is power in the pause. I’ve never regretted my pauses, but too often, I have regretted my words spoken too quickly.
ASK: Ask questions to better understand if the person is ready to hear your message. It’s not always about you, and though you may have information you think someone needs to hear, perhaps you can ask a question that opens the door to greater understanding.
WISDOM: Choose your words wisely. People are more inclined to listen when we speak from a place of wisdom. Carefully consider the words you are about to say. If they are not life-giving, do not say them. Nothing good comes from useless, mindless words.
SEEK TO UNDERSTAND: Why are you sharing the message? Do you understand the other person well enough to know if they need to hear it—or do you need to share it and impress others with the knowledge you believe you have? Stop and seek to understand how your words will help the other person.
The PAWS method has helped many people step back and assess whether they should share a message. In our very vitriolic culture and demeaning social media posts, many of us could benefit from practicing the PAWS method as we deal with others who have differing opinions. Be kind in words and deeds.
As for Louie, my guests were able to meet him and enjoy time with him, in spite of his initial reaction. With Lou, there is no pause button. It is full-on, deliver the message with as much gusto as possible. Worry about the effects of scaring people later. That’s my Lou!
Blessings and LOVE, The Louie Crew
